Fetal Position Reliance.

Sufficiently awkward.
Yup. That pretty much describes the last hour.
Glad to see some people. Not so glad to get the death glare from others.
Whatever. If they really wanna waste precious moments of their life outright disliking me...then that sucks for them cause I'm too busy living to worry about them.

Other than that, today was a fantastic day.
I love my SG people. I love that I get to be involved. I love feeling like a sufficient adult.

Really looking forward to this week.
Lots of good days ahead.
And of course, Dillons Beach this weekend!!!
Can it get any better!

One quick observation: The past 4 months of restarting my life has really changed me. When I saw my old college group friends tonight, I felt out of place. For two reasons. One, I haven't seen them in months. And two, I am no where near the person I am today that I was when I last saw them. I have grown so much. I have learned so much. And I have developed into someone who I didn't really think I would be, but in a good way. I'm fairly confident walking into a room not knowing anybody. I can make conversations with people that I just met. I have grown to be more aware of the different cultures and lifestyles surrounding me. I am becoming a full on (almost) self-sufficient adult. And I love it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I really like change. I like the stretching that it makes me do. The flat on my face, fetal position of total reliance on God. It's awesome.

Time to hit the sack...

It's funny, but I'm not laughing.

Getting out of this place was definitely a good idea.

Just hanging out with Lucy always makes things better. And you can't help but be happy with two cute baby kittens running around.

Tonight was not what I planned.
And, God, I know you're laughing at me. Like rolling on the floor laughing.
I get it. Thanks for putting me in my place and setting me straight.

Bed. Now.

Shut the Front Door.

What a bunch of BS.

Stupid a;skdljfa;skdjfas;ldkfjas;dln;lnnadoba;dfhjg.

'Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst.'

Whew.

Adult chat...check.
Outcome...TBD.
Possible outcome...looking fairly decent.

'Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst.'

Great talk tonight. Went much better than I expected. No tears. No arguing. Just nice and clean dialogue, with open ears on all sides. Just what I like. The outcome is still up in the air, and in God's hands. But I'm content with where things are at right now and where they have the potential to go.

Hoping for some new additions by the end of this weekend. ; )

Good. Night.


My newest, and probably in my top 5 fav groups on facebook: "And so God created Saturn. And he liked it, so he put a ring on it." NICE.

When pigs fly...

Today pretty much sucked. But in the most funny ways possible.

Speech was pointless. But the speeches given were funny.
History. I epicly failed the test. But I BS'd an essay so good, you'd think that I actually studied.
Sociology was an orientation of the library. WTH?
And Art. Haha. Skeleton drawing. The feet look like a crippled cats paw. Hilarious! My drawing skills are going down the drain in this class. Ironic much?
OH. And even funnier...I got to dig through a trash can at CRC cause I accidentally threw my phone away. Good times.
And to top it all off, I come home to my sisters cat licking his butt in the middle of my room.

Priceless day.

Dear John.

I pretty much feel...legit, right now. I finally have a cute looking blog. And the funny thing is that pink really isn't my color. But I'm diggin' this. Lol.

So...I definitely had a nightmare last night. And it was like a Saw movie. Horribly bloody and stuff. And that creepy guy thing was in it. And a horrible death laugh.
Weird part is that I've never ever ever seen any of the Saw movies. And I never will. I think I might cry. Lol.

My sis and I went and saw Dear John tonight. Freaking not how I pictured the movie. It was still good. I totally cried. And it totally made me saddened with my love life at the present moment. Or lack thereof. Hahaha. I think I'm gonna lay off the sappy movies for awhile. They can just suck it. : P
I really do like being single. Honestly. It's just that when you watch movies like that it just puts some added pressure on being in a relationship. And for right now, I'm definitely cool with being single. I cant imagine dating for quite a while.
I'm actually thinking about going places this summer. And if I had a dude attached to me, I'd have to consider him in my decisions. And since I ain't got one I'm just kinda free to float wherever the wind takes me. And I like that feeling. Cause I know that I wont be able to do that forever. So i'm gonna enjoy it while I can.

Oh, also, I've got a big important chat coming up with someone. And that chat is supposed to determine what could be an important part of my life. Trying to gather as much info as I can before hand so that I know where I stand and can fully express it. Yay adult chats. : )



Peace, Love & Happiness

Asta La Vista!

I have cleaned out!
I cleaned out my friends on facebook. And it feels ridiculously good! I'm tired of certain people. And not everyone needs to be all up in my business.

So, yep. That's pretty much it for tonight.
Love ya B.

Take these clouds away.

Today has been a yucky day.

I woke up with some ridiculous heart ache over someone in my life. And I totally wasn't expecting to feel this way. It's like I was just slammed with emotions that I didn't know I could feel all at the same time. And in turn, producing that horrible heart ache.

I was just stuck in a funk all day today.
No motivation for anything. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and wait for it to be tomorrow.

And I really need it to be tomorrow already.
I need to go to school. I NEED to be at the remix. I need some human interaction.

Well...it is Valentines Day...

Happy Singles Awareness Day!
Yay!!

Hahaha. Not.

So I've always disliked this holiday. Not because it is a singles awareness day, but because it is just pointless and misleading. I wouldn't be able to fully believe anyone's declared love on a day like this. It just doesn't seem outright genuine to me. (So guys, future reference, don't make V-day a big deal when you're with me.)

One thing that I have particularly enjoyed about the holiday this year is that this whole entire weekend has seemed to involve love. Not only the romantic kind. The friendship kind and the Jesus kind.

I made tons of new friends at The Remix's Road Trip this weekend. I finally feel like I have a place there. I know people, and people know me. It feels good. It feels like home. There is just so much love flowing in and through these people, and they pour it out onto everyone around them. It really is one of the best feelings in the world. I've never experienced a group of people so welcoming and loving in my entire life.

Another kind of love that I feel like I'm beginning to barely grasp is Jesus' love for me. One mental image that is sitting in my head is one of Jesus knocking at the door into my life saying, "I'm here." But I'm too caught up in my sin and everything else to let him in. And the thing is, He loves me enough to let me choose. He's not breaking down the door, he's just there knocking, waiting on me.
At the Road Trip we sang, How He Loves. And instead of saying, 'Yeah, He loves us..." We made it personal and put our own names in it. That, that really hit harder than anything about that song has before. And if you really know me you know how much that song means to me already. It was awesome. The night that we sang that song was just full of Jesus. You could feel his love in the room. We couldn't help but dance and sing and act a fool for Jesus. Lol.

Now I know that I don't have to touch on this, but I'm going to anyways. The more romantical side of today. As much as I try not to really care about today, deep down inside I care a tiny bit. Not about today, but about each day in general. Having someone each day. I know God has me in this season of singleness for a reason. And I'm very thankful for it because I'm able to do things that I might not be able to do as much of if I were with someone. But, with all that said, I feel like I'm ready for marriage. Not just another relationship. I want to work at a life-long relationship. The good. The bad. The ugly. The confusing. I'm ready for my husband. I'm ready to really truly love someone.
And the thing is, I actually do. They just don't know. And that's what makes days like these all the more annoying.

: /