Well...it is Valentines Day...

Happy Singles Awareness Day!
Yay!!

Hahaha. Not.

So I've always disliked this holiday. Not because it is a singles awareness day, but because it is just pointless and misleading. I wouldn't be able to fully believe anyone's declared love on a day like this. It just doesn't seem outright genuine to me. (So guys, future reference, don't make V-day a big deal when you're with me.)

One thing that I have particularly enjoyed about the holiday this year is that this whole entire weekend has seemed to involve love. Not only the romantic kind. The friendship kind and the Jesus kind.

I made tons of new friends at The Remix's Road Trip this weekend. I finally feel like I have a place there. I know people, and people know me. It feels good. It feels like home. There is just so much love flowing in and through these people, and they pour it out onto everyone around them. It really is one of the best feelings in the world. I've never experienced a group of people so welcoming and loving in my entire life.

Another kind of love that I feel like I'm beginning to barely grasp is Jesus' love for me. One mental image that is sitting in my head is one of Jesus knocking at the door into my life saying, "I'm here." But I'm too caught up in my sin and everything else to let him in. And the thing is, He loves me enough to let me choose. He's not breaking down the door, he's just there knocking, waiting on me.
At the Road Trip we sang, How He Loves. And instead of saying, 'Yeah, He loves us..." We made it personal and put our own names in it. That, that really hit harder than anything about that song has before. And if you really know me you know how much that song means to me already. It was awesome. The night that we sang that song was just full of Jesus. You could feel his love in the room. We couldn't help but dance and sing and act a fool for Jesus. Lol.

Now I know that I don't have to touch on this, but I'm going to anyways. The more romantical side of today. As much as I try not to really care about today, deep down inside I care a tiny bit. Not about today, but about each day in general. Having someone each day. I know God has me in this season of singleness for a reason. And I'm very thankful for it because I'm able to do things that I might not be able to do as much of if I were with someone. But, with all that said, I feel like I'm ready for marriage. Not just another relationship. I want to work at a life-long relationship. The good. The bad. The ugly. The confusing. I'm ready for my husband. I'm ready to really truly love someone.
And the thing is, I actually do. They just don't know. And that's what makes days like these all the more annoying.

: /