God above all my hopes and fears.

How do I say it without actually saying it?
Mehhh.
Craving? Longing? Wishing? Desiring?
I don't even know dude.
I just feel like a volcano that is filled with burning passion that can burst at any given moment.
And that's kinda good, kinda bad.

I'm trying to be patient though. But when little enticements are put in front of me on a weekly basis it makes it really really hard. But I know that I can overcome these fleshly whatevers.

Tryin' to stay focused on what is truly important. Tryin' to be faithful.

Even though I feel like I have a brick wall up against these whatevers, but the brick wall is merely a sheet dangling by a thread. Ready to fall to the ground at a passing wind. I want to stay strong, appear strong. But I feel as though I can't and won't when the fleeting opportunity does present itself. Sometimes I don't even care enough to try to hold that wall up. I want to let it fall. I want to see where it'll take me, how far I can go, how satisfying it might actually be.

Stupid Human. That I most surely am.